Coaching that transforms is coaching to looks at the language, boy and emotions. Understanding the vlaue that coaching can play in making life decisions is important.
â€œThe difference between the present and the future is the self that has been transformed and the difference made in the lives of people.â€
Frank is a manager in an investment bank. He is 34 years old and has been in this position for the past 2Â½ years. He has been feeling that he is loosing his edge and is beginning to feel anxious about what this means to the progression of his career. He has a vision that â€œthe fire is not as strong as it use to beâ€.
As I listen to him I observe his mood and how he holds his body as he is talking. I listen for the tone of his voice and for any missing part in the picture he is painting so that I can fully understand the present dilemma that Frank feels he is in. A number of questions come to mind as I listen, which I later ask Frank to take him away from the stories and assessments, so that he/I can arrive at the fundamental reason for his concern. In the process of the conversation that ensues that day and over the next three months Frank arrives at some realisations about himself and the parts of the job that really excites him.
The example above could have been one about the breakdown of a relationship between a husband and wife, or an exciting entrepreneurial opportunity that presents itself to a woman who has had one successful career and is embarking upon creating a new career. What connects all these life situations is a sudden moment of realisation of not feeling up to the â€œtaskâ€, of needing to develop personally to deal with a particular life concern or opportunity.
As a coach I allow my client the opportunity to explore and focus their concern in an open and safe space where they feel that nothing need be edited for fear of judgement. In the process of conversation we explore any incoherence or inconsistencies between the stated goals, body language and emotions. And once we have identified the areas we feel need addressing we agree some practical steps to moving forward and fulfilling the clientâ€™s potential.
Karen is an HR director at a large non-profit organisation. She is 32 years old and has had a successful career previously in the private sector but is looking to blaze new ground. Her concern is that, even though people think she is successful, she feels that she is missing love and fun in her life. While she has many friends, she has not had a long-term romantic relationship in the past three years and cannot remember the last time she had real fun.
In our first conversation I was able to bring to Karenâ€™s attention the passion she had for her work and that in describing her personal life her mood was resignation. At the end of two weeks, she was beginning to notice when her desire for fun was at odds with the mood in which she approach her personal life. I then proceeded to introduce some exercises for her to do to cement her awareness of the relationship between mood and emotions with her desired goals.
My aim, as a Coach is not only to help my client solve a current concern, but to give them the building blocks on which they can become keener observers of themselves and better equipped to cope with future dilemmas.
As a method of sustaining change and taking effective actions in your life, coaching is an experience that can fit in with any life situation. . Whether in your personal or professional life, if action is needed which leads to sustainable change and time is a luxury, life coaching can be very effective.
Generally, I suggest a three month initial commitment that allows us the space to build the trust needed for you to explore questions that ultimately are as intimate as â€œWhat scares you about your life at the moment?â€ In addition, so much of the success of coaching is predicated on practice then reflection, encouragement and more practice. Working, beyond three months is dependent on an assessment by both of us. Additionally, there is also flexibility in the method of the conversation, whether face-to-face, by telephone or by email. My goal always, is to have at least one face-to-face session, but barring that all further contact can be via phone or email if it suits you.
Ultimately, the success of coaching is in sustaining my clients to explore issues of value, meaning, purpose and action, as they seek to address a challenge or opportunity in their life. As one client said, â€œSterling didn't preach or tell me what to think, he just led me along the paths that were right for me and refocused my objectives. Oh, and I got the job!'
About the Author
Sterling Rauseo is a Performance Development Coach and Change Consultant. He helps organizations and entrepreneurs to refocus their dreams and goals in the face of obstacles, doubts or blind spots. He can be contacted via www.moodmagician.com, by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org, or by phone at +44 (0) 207-916-5237 or mobile +44 (0) 7932 463 412.