If someone were to give your child a "test" that covered many of
the details of your life, and included questions about their own
family's history, how do you think they'd do?
If your child is school-aged, no doubt, he/she are inundated
with tests of all kinds. When he/she fail those tests, or does
horribly on one, we are often quick to blame the school and the
teacher.
Well after many years of living (studying) in the same home with
you, you'd figure that they'd know a lot about your life, the
lives of their grandparents and more.
In this scenario, the home is the school and we, the parents,
are the teachers. I fear that, when it comes to communicating
significant family history and why they are significant, many of
us may not be getting as high of marks as we might think.
Believe me, it's not that we don't want to teach our children
about these things, but in today's hectic lifestyle, the
traditional opportunities to share these stories and memories
are fewer.
Hectic modern family schedules, especially when both parents
work, curtail time spent talking around the family dinner table.
Full-blown family reunions and get-togethers are less frequent
due to the distances we live from other family members.
Distractions, such as non-stop cable television, computers,
video games and other such devices reduce the actual time that
we spend talking with each other.
Increases in extracurricular school and community activities
eat away at traditional family time as well.
Several years ago I worked with individuals ages 17-27, with
background investigation paperwork. For this, some family
information was required on the application.
I would estimate that nine times out of ten, these individuals
would have to call someone to be reminded of their parent's
birth dates and/or their grandparent's full names. It always
made me wonder. What else didn't they know about their own
family?
Okay, ready for a quick test?
Here are some sample test questions. How would your chil do? How
would you do, if given the same questions about your parents and
grandparents?
Describe how, when and where your parents met? What about
your grandparents?
What would your parents say were the 3 most influential
people and events they experienced during their lifetime? How
were they influential?
What did your parents want to be, when they "grew up"?
What kind of students were your parents?
What would your parents, individually and collectively,
consider their best decisions made? Which have been their most
regrettable decisions?
Who is the oldest member of the family that your parents (or
grandparents) can remember?
Well, how do you believe your child would have done? How well
could you have answered those same questions about your parents?
Nobody has been given a guarantee that they'll live to be old
and gray. It really makes one stop and think, when confronted
with this sobering reality.
"If I didn't live past tomorrow..."
"Have I conveyed everything about my life, that I've intend
to, to my children? If not, what am I waiting for?"
"Have I shared with them the hard-learned lessons I've
learned about life? Or am I just going to let them figure it all
out on their own?"
"Have I passed on all the great family stories and memories
that were told to me by my parents?"
Then wonder...
"Will my children know, or will they someday understand the
happenings in my life that..."
...Cause me to think the way I do?
...Make me believe the way I do?
...Make me act the way I do?
...Cause me to celebrate the things that I do?
...Help me make the decisions that I do?
...Worry about things like I do...etc?
Then there are these questions...
- What have I taught my kids, so far, that will impact them
the rest of their lives?
- What have I NOT taught them that will impact them the rest
of their lives?
- What will they remember most about me?
One day, this test will actually be given to your children. It
will come, most likely, from the sweet innocent voices of your
grandchildren or great grandchildren. They will have questions
about you and their heritage in general. They'll be seeking
answers to questions that will help them understand who they are
and how they fit into the family, historically.
Will your child have the right answers to give them? Will they
have an answer at all?
Nothing beats an open book test. When you keep a journal or
create a record of your life, the test your child faces someday,
will indeed, and thankfully, be an open book test.
Won't you get started today?
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