Have you spent years looking for Mr. Right, or Ms. Right? Do you
feel like you come up empty each time, or even worse- end up
repeating an old pattern with the same type of person again and
again? It’s an uncomfortable reality for so many of us as we look to be
in a relationship with someone. Our requirements may be
unconsciously stemming from old emotional patterns within our
psyche. Those patterns may have been formulated in early
childhood, during puberty, or even from our ‘first love’. Each
time we grow into a new relationship, we hope that we have
learned enough from the sum of our previous experiences to say
that we are prepared to reap the harvest of our true partner.
Unfortunately, if unfinished business still resides within your
mind and heart, it will eventually surface in the new
relationship. Recently one of my clients came to me with this same trouble.
She had recently found a wonderful new relationship, or shall we
say it found her. Everything was going so well, they were
getting to know each other and really felt committed to each
other. Then, it happened. She started getting angry. She had a
sharp edge to her voice and was quick tempered with people. It
was like she had her ‘claws out’. She was so happy- what could
be wrong? Well, she was happy. She was so happy in fact, that she was
feeling safer than she had in years. That’s a good thing, right? Of course it is. It means that the safety made her feel
comfortable enough to let down the walls around her heart and the
old heart wounds were starting to pour out- all over the place.
She was safe enough to allow herself to be vulnerable. In that
vulnerability she had given herself permission to let go of the
old pain, hoping to make way for the new love her heart was
beginning to feel for her partner. It was a wonderful step
forward! What happened next? When we talked about her anger and we made
the connection that she was protecting some very old pain and
wounding, she began to drop the anger and connected to the
sadness. She went through a period of grieving and during that
time, was able to talk with her partner about the old wounding.
It actually resulted in bringing them closer together. They had
crossed a threshold in their relationship, taking it to a new
spiritual level. Now, they both feel as if they are headed
toward a true partnership. How did they get this far? They trusted each other. They also
trusted in themselves enough to know that the old wounding was in
fact something very old. They are able to bear witness to the
pain as it was being released, and it made the bond between them
stronger, knowing they could unite in the face of grief and pain. It opened the door into their hearts a little wider because they
were healing consciously. What steps do we take to find a true partner? We start with our self. Until we can be a true partner to our
own feelings, we do not know how to be a partner to someone else. If we are not willing to face our own vulnerability and our past
wounds, how can we face them in another? True partnership is not all champagne and roses. It’s not
stories about soft fuzzy bunnies and breakfast in bed every
morning. True partnership is about being there for another
person during their high times and even their low times. It is
about being real with your self and with the other person. We
all have emotional patterns, some leftover baggage and none of us
wake up out of bed with perfect hair and makeup. We are human
beings living human experiences. Finding someone who will be a
true partner to you in that reality means facing that same
reality in yourself first. In other words, be a true partner to
your self in order to be a true partner to another. Then you
will be open to allow that partnership to find you. © 2005 Jodie Foster Jodie Foster is an Intuitive Counselor who assists clients to create extraordinary transformations in their daily lives. Her work is uplifting, empowering and success-oriented. You can visit Jodie’s website at http://www.illuminationsnetwork.com for further information and to schedule a private intuitive session. You can also look for daily updates to her blog at: http://intuitiveinnovations.blogspot.com . Publisher's Guidelines: You may freely publish this article online, in email newsletters, or in print so long as the resource box and byline are in tact and all links are active. Author would appreciate a notification, but that is optional.
|
