The vast majority of business literature is boring. This applies to printed and web writing alike. It is sometimes tempting to inject a bit of light-heartedness into the text, but it is a dangerous game. Some time ago, I edited the marketing materials produced by a London hotel. One of the hotel’s attractions was its leisure centre, which included a well-equipped gym. The original script referred to a ‘large satellite TV to give some relief from the torture.’ Now, I have to admit that I agree with the sentiment. The strange machines in gyms are as painful as they are boring. Nevertheless, this was an unwise piece of ironic humour. The gym is a selling point to people who already like hard exercise, not to couch potatoes like me. Why present a negative perception of the gym, however obviously it is intended as humour? Of course, it is unlikely to deter the hardened keep-fit fanatic and, no matter how the gym is marketed, I am a lost cause. The big risk is that it puts off someone who is wondering whether to try a gym during a leisure weekend. Reminding them that long-forgotten muscles are going to ache is perhaps not the best selling point. We changed the brochure to say that the gym has a ‘large satellite TV to keep you entertained.’ The number of guests using the gym has increased. Enough said! John Philip has been a writer, editor and educator for over 30 years. He now mainly provides consultancy to businesses, professions and public services and continues to work for befirstgroup.com, which offers writing and editorial services. He is also a manager with Fortune Hi-Tech Marketing, a unique marketing project.
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