Copyright 2005 Heartmind Connection, LLC
You are finally biting the bullet and decided to try internet dating. You have narrowed down to one or two sites that your friends have recommended that you try where they are having success meeting people. (go to http://www.heartmindconnection.com/resources
for a list of dating internet sites and their descriptions.) Now itâ€™s up to you to write your internet profile. Thatâ€™s the hard part!
Or perhaps you have had your internet dating profile up for a while and have not seen much action lately. Perhaps it is time for you to reevaluate your profile and see if you can make improvements to attract more quality candidates to your internet profile.
How do you package yourself in a way that will attract the right people to you? What if writing is not your forte? If you follow the 5 ideas outlined below, you will be putting your best foot forward and on your way to experiencing the excitement of internet dating or revitalizing your internet dating potential.
For those new to internet dating, after checking out the format of the profile and how others are presenting themselves, I encourage you to:
1. Present the most authentic you!
Show your potential dates the real you. If you put down stuff that you are not, you will attract the wrong people and eventually it will come out eventually. For examples, if you canâ€™t stand cats and say you like animals, then what will you do if your date has a cat? My philosophy is what you put out there is what you will attract. Just like an ad in a magazine- if a company advertises a car with a powerful engine, That ad will attract people who want that feature in a car.
So it is best to be honest and upfront with your profile. Describe what you need and want in a relationship. Donâ€™t be afraid to ask for what you want (as long as it is socially appropriate!). If you want marriage and a family â€“ then put that down in your profile. You will attract those who want the same things as you and turn away those who would be scared by that commentâ€”thatâ€™s a good thing!
2. Tell your audience whatâ€™s unique about you!
What sets you apart from the next guy or gal? What is special about you? Do you have any special talents or skills? You want someone in your life who appreciates that about you. If you have an artistic bent, or you sing in a chorus, describe that! If you run marathons or help out with volunteer activities, put that down, as well. This will set you apart from the other internet profiles out there.
3. Take your reader into your experiences with you!
I believe in bringing the reader into the experiences that you truly value. Not just superficially mention you like running through the park, but send out an invitation for them to join you. For instance, one of my clients described how he loves to jog in a city park in the fall when the air is crisp and the leaves are multi-tonal. Doesnâ€™t this description have a â€œcome join meâ€ feeling?
Donâ€™t just mention that you like concerts and movies. Describe what kind of concerts you prefer and types of movies you love. Remember, you want to attract those who have similar tastes.
4. Describe whatâ€™s truly important to you!
What gets you up in the morning? What truly motivates you in life? One of my clients truly values giving of herself to the community. She is an avid volunteer. Iâ€™m sure she wants to attract someone who also values giving to the community as well. When you get beyond the superficial, you will attract those who say, â€œthis person seems to be the kind of person I want to meet!â€
5. Invest in hiring a professional for the all important photo!
We do live in a visual society and we do judge a book by a cover! Studies have shown that the photo is the key to whether a person decides to check out your profile or not. If you are not sure how you come across in the photo, then ask a friend or co-worker for their opinion. I request that my clients get a professional photo 95% of the time.
Some internet dating sites do provide you with a list of photographers in your area who specialize in internet dating photos. As an added bonus, you will have a photo of yourself to give to your family members come December!
By following the ideas presented above, I guarantee that you will see an improvement in the type of people who are contacting you and the responses you are getting from those you are contacting. This is the first step towards meeting the man or woman of your dreams!
In my next article, I will describe my internet dating strategies for men vs. those for women.
Amy Schoen is a life coach who specializes in helping singles to discover what they need and want in relationships and how to find their desired romantic partner. She is also an expert in internet dating strategies and how to write effective internet profiles. For down to earth tips and helpful hints on dating and relationships, you can subscribe to her popular ezine or her tele-seminars at: